Thanks for all the kind words about my mouth organ! There’s definitely something transformative about “firsts” and this is no different. I learned quite a bit from the experience so far:
- don’t underestimate the time required to stitch your design;
- don’t wait until the last possible minute to find a frame;
- don’t buy a crappy frame, especially at the last possible minute;
- whew, thank goodness, find a nice frame at the very very very last minute;
- and don’t undervalue your time and your work.
- But do have fun and stay true to yourself.
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So let’s talk about stuff this week…
Here’s a true confession. In the past year, I decided that maybe I don’t want to make quilts anymore.
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Yeah.
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Okay, these thoughts would alternately send me into anxiety attacks or serious mojo-less blue funks. And so I knew this issue required some deep introspection. Coming out of the fog, it seems that I don’t want to make meaningless quilts anymore. Mind you, meaningless is merely a placeholder word only meant to convey my own judgement of my own quilts. Perhaps this visual will help?
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To begin to define what I mean by this—which I’m not sure we’ll totally define today since I still don’t know (that log cabin could go either way)—I thought that we’d start with a little about me. Have you ever learned about your personality type indicator? It’s tested by the MBTI (only administered by a trained professional) or the Keirsey sorter. You can take a simulated test online here at Human Metrics, get your 4-letter type, and then Google your type to read more. I’ve taken the professionally-administered MBTI twice: once as a senior in college and again several years later. The results were similar: INTP with my scores near the center of introvert/extrovert and the center of judging/perceiving. [Once, I took the online test after a glass or two of wine and it came up ISFJ, pretty much the opposite in all ways. This requires some thought.]
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If you read about INTPs, the descriptions go on at length about inwardly-focused creative analytic problem solvers. To quote from the page linked above: “the INTP is motivated to solve complex problems in an original, innovative way. [They] want to analyze systems and ideas thoroughly to create deep understanding, and enjoy designing creative solutions to highly abstract problems.”
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Anyway, this is a roundabout way to attempt an analogy with quilts here. Stick with me.
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I am super bad at small-talk. I tend to just hang around until conversations warm up and then I am excited to engage in non-small-talk. This is not a judgement, it’s just a statement of my skill-set, which is upheld by an assessment of my personality (see the aside at the end of the post below). So…here’s the connection. To me, meaningless quilts are like small-talk: I’m good at trying them out, getting some sense of their underlying structure and potential, but then I get want more of something and have to move on. But I seem always to finish quilts that have some deeper meaning to me like George and Todd’s No Baby Baby Quilt. Either they explore new ways to do traditional things or they explore non-quilterly things in a quilterly way.
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These quilts are not small-talk; they are not meaningless to me.
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To be sure, I value all quilts (well, almost all quilts). But with the time constraints I am under, I need to make sure to maximize my time with projects that I’m sure to finish and love, rather than ones that will languish on the WIP pile and haunt me for years.
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As a quilter, if I’m going to continue, I want to do more that means more to me. That’s all. Does that make sense? Let’s see if this resolve cures what ails me.
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Here’s a big aside that I was glad to read because it’s so very true of me and my interactions with folks. So… for those who I might meet in RealLife someday, here’s more: “Logical and analytical, INTPs may appear detached or overly critical to others who are more sensitive. They are generally tolerant of others and opposing viewpoints, however, and simply strive for precise and efficient communication.” I have a pretty good filter on my mouth, but if my patience runs out, well,…sorry. Be assured, I’ll notice, apologize profusely, and feel terrible for days for losing it, though.
Oh man. Yes. I found out in the last year or so that I am so much happier when I am making something that is ABOUT something (whether I tell anyone about the aboutness is another issue, but I know it’s there while I am making it—I have been thinking a lot about program music and how after it fell out of favour composers were still writing it, just not putting the narrative in print anymore). (My MBTI type is ISFJ though, a.k.a. Speaks Little, Feels Hard About Everything.)
My quilt projects tend to peter out if I am just making blocks by rote, but the one that has captured my heart currently is a stylized quilted version of a photograph that a friend keeps taking at various beaches she visits, and it is sort of a secret love letter to sea and surf and sand and her and her vision of the world through her camera. Totally not gonna explain to everyone I show the quilt to that it’s about someone I want to kiss a lot more, but making dozens of 3″ pinwheel blocks is somehow not a chore because they are going into something meaningful to me, and that’s excellent.
This is good news!
You are going further on your own path.
Yay. Only big talk.
Xxo Kay
“As a quilter, if I’m going to continue, I want to do more that means more to me. That’s all. Does that make sense?”
Makes sense to me, and it excites me. I can’t wait to see where you go from here!
Interesting, especially as I’ve been thinking lately about my knitting. (My craft obsession of choice.) I’ve recently noticed that I tend toward the cozy, cheerful/comic and utilitarian in my projects and designs. It feels right, especially since knitting is a way for me to both creatively nourish and comfort myself at the same time, but I’ve begun to think about expanding my creative horizons.
Also, my Myers-Briggs type (in a professionally administered test) is ENTP. I don’t know what my exact numbers were, but suspect that I was not a strong “T.” Everything else still fits. It was definitely a tool for self-understanding, and I continue to refer to it. Oh, and I read some where that in mid-life we begin to explore our shadow sides, which I believe, as my knitting projects certainly require introversion, sensing and judging characteristics that I don’t know if I could have accessed at a younger age…
Sorry for the long comment, but you’ve given me lots of food for thought. Thank you!
INTJ over here. I love all your quilts, but especially the political ones, so I am glad you’re sticking to quilting and moving in that direction!
Thank you for sharing your journey with us this far. I started reading your blog from when you shared your quilts on Whip Up. I even read your posts in Flickr to your start of your blog and have enjoyed every minute. I know that I am going to enjoy even more in the future because I find it inspiring that you are honest and a creative artist.
It totally makes sense. We can’t make/do everything, so we need to be selective. There are lots of quilts out there that inspire me to make something similar, but I know they’d be like Chinese food — I’d only be hungry for more in the near future. Same thing about paths. I am able to do lots of things, but only a fraction are actually a good fit. Yeah, I get it. BTW, I’m usually an INTJ but could just easily be INFP. Haven’t tried the test inebriated.
I’m so with you on this……make what you are passionate about. Put something of yourself in it….and that something will be different for everyone. You’re an artist C, not just a quilter content to sew up someone elses patterns.
I am INTP as well- apparently we are a rare breed. This whole post feels like something that could have come from my own head, maybe not entirely quilt oriented but with my crafting, photography, struggling to enjoy it when I don’t feel like there is a real purpose lately. Love this post.
Definitely make quilts that have more meaning for you. I feel the same way, but am going a different direction than you. I want to personalize mine more with my name and the year – always my favorite part of antique quilts. It’s all good though – neither one of us wants to make a quilt anyone else could make. Funny, every time i take the Meyer’s Briggs (self-administered) I get a different answer. Never understand what the questions really mean – I need examples, dammit.
Thanks for this trip inside your head. Definitely enjoyed =). I know that quilts that mean something to you are going to be (and probably have been) better quilts, not just the ones you find easiest to finish. Wishing you continued inner clarity!
I completely get what you are saying. I’ve always thought of your work as more than quilting. And it’s funny because when your work came up one time, I had said to someone that your quilts are a conversation and that as such they draw us in and make us think and talk. So thank you for that.
Embrace it, C – you are an artist.
I’m impressed with how well you know yourself, that alone is such an accomplishment. And I look forward to seeing and reading more of your big talk.
I think that’s probably a good goal. You seem so much more excited about the work that is close to your heart. And, as a person who also has a lot of RL time pressures, I understand how unsatisfying it can be to use free time on something that’s not exactly, 100% interesting.
I also took MB test years ago before deciding on a major for college and spending a lot of money on a career path that would not work. I cannot remember my results, but I am in the small percentage of artists and creatives..INSF? I will have to go find my booklet and look it up AGAIN!!!! I tend to lean toward complicated patterns and projects that challenge me. I don’t need to make a statement with them. Art is a statement in and of itself, a reflection of you in a given moment or situation, a reflection that will be recognized. Know that what you are putting out there is not just a quilt because it doesn’t have a visual written message. Some of your work is whispering to us in our souls..
Someone else already said it but my first thought was– “Oh good. She is figuring out how to more intentionally follow her own path as an artist.” I’d like to dedicate a little more thought to this topic for myself.
Lots of food for thought here. Good Stuff! It is always good to evaluate why we do what we do and challenge others to do the same. Hubby and I took that test when we did our pre-marital counseling, but I’ve forgotten what I was…must go and take it again.
Sounds like thats what you need to do :-) Make more conversation pieces, show stoppers and works of art! (thats not an order….its what I think of what you do)
Interesting… You’ve given me lots to think about, as well as yourself :) Thanks!
go for the meaningful! Most of my crochet is going towards charity projects its my current meaning to me. But yes I love your political crafting. I’m also reminded somewhat of Ian Hamilton Finlay a Scottish artist who practiced what he called ‘avant gardening’ which was bringing the political into the garden/landscape.
INTP to a fault… I look forward to reading your blog and seeing how you will jar us into thinking with your unique works of art… Did you see the quilt “Bang You’re Dead” over at Tallgrass Prairie Studio’s blog? Don’t waste your time on “stuff” – we need the real conversation, real life work that you do.
Kat
I had a boss once who made me take the test. I think I am an ENTJ. Most definitely an E!
Everyone should make stuff that is meaningful to them. What’s the point otherwise? BTW, I cannot get those lips out of my head.
I think MB personality testing is overtrumped bunk. But I think we know ourselves. Those little fun things we folded up in junior high and did little counting games and fortunes with were bunk, too, and still taught you something about yourself (you actually DID want it to come up with “your crush is Tony”). Good on you for knowing yourself, paying attention to your self, and paying respect to your self. A reminder to my self to do more of the same.
okay.
you are someone I completely admire. You make beautiful things but things that have meaning. That is not something that I do. So now I’m going to sit back and think about whether I care or not… No judgement on anyone else, but does that make me shallow?
thanks! nope, not shallow. we all have different reasons for making things. i just figured out why i was no longer having fun making things.
When the act of making things makes you happy, then it seems to me that it would follow that you make things that are meaningful to you. You are an artist – your work is beautiful and inspiring, no matter the subject matter. Follow your heart and see where that leads you. It’s always a very good place to start.
go where your heart leads you, C. I know I’m not alone in feeling inspired by your work, whether it’s in words or not. You make beautiful works, and I know that will not change.
I found this post, and the comments, to be fascinating. You wrote a comment on my ‘word’ post that said you wanted to do more that ‘means something’ (I’m paraphrasing). At the time I couldn’t see how you could possibly do that but this post goes a long way to explaining it. I think a part of me wishes I could be driven by these same desires because I find it so admirable. And yet…I’m not. I think I find that ‘meaning’ in my job and since that takes up 100+ hours a week, I need the rest of my life to be simple and less demanding. I’m content to knit silly hats. I’m content to mix fluff reading with more substantial literature. And so on. I seriously doubt you think any less of me because I do… All that said…I’m excited to see where this realization/goal takes you.
INTJ here. Not so different to INTP, and probably goes part of the way to explaining why I like to design my own quilts, rather than working from a pattern. Anyway, I wanted to say that I am very inspired by your breakthrough on meaningful creating. I really admire the way your work carries a message. I have something to say too, and I think this has been the push I need to stop just thinking about it and start doing it. Thank you!
I find my meaning through improvising. The way I make patterns in my quilts tells me something about the way I make patterns in my life. This is the rhythm of attention. I find meaning in being present to my choices when making and in life… as far as I’m able. One of my favorite quotes is from the poet Eileen Myles: Vision is something we make.
See you at Quiltcon. I just got my cards printed too.
I love that direction. I couldn’t agree more, I’ve had lots of thoughts like that in the last couple years of sewing.