Here’s some small bit of progress on Li’l Mo. Mainly just background to fill in the bottom right now, I hope to get to the interesting bizness on the sides by the weekend. Due to the demands of RealJob and the harsh realities of grief, I am running at half-speed and working twice as long to get it all done. There’s little time to do much else so chipping away at little 10×10 grids of stitches makes me happy.
A commenter over on a phone-based photo site (a site that I have a hate-love relationship with) asked the following question about this project:
How do you not completely lose your mind doing this?
As usual, I allowed myself to have a visceral reaction to the question, it’s one of a type that I get from time to time.
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While I lead with my optimistic heart and I assume the person who asked meant no harm, I must admit that I find that the way it’s stated makes it rather myopic and judgmental. There are more polite ways to ask the same thing, but these little comment boxes online and the current pace of life don’t necessarily encourage politeness.
Here are a few stabs at equally terse responses…
Why would I?
Because I don’t.
Because I am not you.
Because I seek to make something of high quality.
Because this project has deep and abiding meaning to me.
Eh, whatever. I don’t refrain from describing the scope of my projects as sometimes insane or a little cray-cray. But I think that I, personally, am doing fine and that the projects usually turn out pretty nice and are worth every effort expended.
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I suspect you do what you do to keep from losing your mind.
I don’t have the variety nor the depth of creative outlets that you do, but was recently kept from mine for 10 days & I suffered for it. Stitching soothes my soul.
Hugs to you, my dear.
Hugs to you and if that was me who made that comment I apologize, whole heartedly. I’m often asked how do I not lose my mind caring full time for a teenage boy with profound disabilties. I say one moment at a time. :) Sending you love today and always. xoxox
Nope, it wasn’t you. And I tried to make this post not about the commenter. That’s not totally the issue here.
I suspect that some questions/comments come from immature or self-centered individuals who,
because they could never imagine themselves in your shoes, don’t have the insight
to word the question/comment politely.
Your emotional depth, creativity and skills repeatedly astound me!
I would go cray cray if I couldn’t stitch, or at the very least, enjoy seeing examples of beautiful stitchery. I hope your love for creating has been healing for you. Your creations always inspire and excite me.
Not losing one’s mind is highly overrated.
Nice!
As in, nicely done, C. Oh how comment boxes do reduce us all. Myself included!
if you love to create with your hands-you know why other folks make what ever it is they make..expressing your creative spirit just can not , not happen. I always feel you in particular C are compelled to create what you share here. You are, in my opinion, an artist. I love to hear the details, both the how and the why and, you always have a why. It is always from deep within you. This is just how what ever you create comes across to me. as always, thanks for sharing what you are feeling/thinking.
Mo is looking good! I can’t wait to see what’s in the rest of the design.
I guess not everyone understands the therapeutic value of stitching.
If that were me, I would see it as a sort of ill-thought reverse compliment. A phrase of admiration, if you will. “I would NEVER have the patience to do that, and I admire your skill and patience with such an intricate project.” :) If that were me who had left the comment I think that’s what I would have meant. You’re right that the web removes a layer of politeness, we just get used to it I guess, but it also removes that personal interaction and body language that can turn a phrase like this into a compliment.
And I certainly do admire your skill and patience with this project. :)
yes, i tried to read it that way too. it’s just difficult always to be giving the benefit of the doubt?
I imagine the comment was made without thinking how it would be taken. That aside, I’m excited to see the progression of Mo! I hope he really is bringing you comfort in your interludes. I know life has been especially stressful this past month. It’s amazing the solace we can find in our craft(s). I am always grateful for that.
I suspect this is why I make complicated quilts, with lots of pieces, and no particular pattern, that take for ever to finish. For some of us this “insane” method of stitching is a way to lose our minds. Mine goes all.the.time. And when I quilt it stops and I enjoy the silence.
You hint at working towards a deadline. Is that so?
no real deadline, it’s just that i want to make sure to finish it and it’d be great to finish within 9 months…it’s poetic.
I’m stealing, “Because I am not you.”
I think “because I am not you” just became my new favorite answer to everything!
yes – a little cray-cray here too. People ask me the same thing – sometimes I ask the universe why it sends these projects to me (“how about a nice short, quick project for a change?” I say). But when people ask this question I realise that not everyone is slow and works in this intense laborious way and I am OK with that.thanks for the post. I love your work, your aesthetic and your attitude – and I love little Mo – waiting to see how it all shakes out!
Could it be that humorous comments, as well as cynicism, don’t come across in print? I choose to believe the commenter may have had a smile while typing.
Your work is wonderful, expressive, and sooo obviously time consuming. The kind of time that takes us away from the minutes passing and into another dimension in our heads, so that we look up after “a few minutes” and find hours may have passed. I spent the hours surrounding my parents’ deaths with a counted cross stitch. It helped make the hours bearable.
I agree that tone is hard to “hear” online. I chose to assume she meant it positively, but my initial reaction upon reading was not positive.
Absorbing work is so therapeutic. It’s a blessing that we have this to turn to.
Actually, I think your answer “Because I am not you” is perfectly valid. We all have different levels of focus, patience, and passion. I can’t count the number of times people have said they couldn’t knit or sew like me. And though I want to say “of course you can!”, maybe they’re right. Because if they don’t have the passion they won’t have the persistence. Any mistake will throw them into a spiral of “I can’t do it”. They’ll get bored. They’ll give up. And then wonder at another’s ability to put so much time, energy and love into a project/skill.
And here’s a confession. I’m a little that way too… I LOVE your work! But I don’t know that I have it in me to achieve what you achieve. But that’s just a difference in passions; it’s all okay, not cray cray.
Do you remember when you were a college student and strangers you had just met asked what you were majoring in?
I used to reply that I was double majoring in math and chemistry and, more often than not, people would reply with how bad they were at math and/or chemistry.
I’m assuming that they meant nothing negative about me in their comments. The comments were more about them.
Anyway, isn’t it grand that we have people who are good at and are able to persevere in difficult and time-consuming tasks in the age of instant everything? The survival of the species will depend on such people.
I find that there is a project that I want to immerse myself in, I would lose my mind if I resisted. Your depth and breadth of art is truly hard to understand, which makes it the best and keeps us tuned in.
I have a mental image of you as the robo-crafter (knitter, stitcher, quilter) with your hands moving at speeds so great you can’t even see them go. You are so prolific and your pieces (in whatever media) are striking and gorgeous. I think this person should have just admired Mo and left it at that because her comment does sound judgmental. Little Mo is adorable and if he helps you deal with that horrible grief, then carry on!
I love watching the progress on Mo. I think long term projects can be more grounding and thoughtful than quick projects. I certainly put a lot into them. I can see that this will be very meaningful to you in years to come.
About ten years ago I worked on a long term applique project during a very difficult year of loss and grief. It was my portable project through the months that three family members went into nursing homes and then all died within the same week. When the project was finished I folded it and put it away just like I would when finished with most projects. A few years later after not looking at it, I pulled it out and fell into tears. The sight of it brought all of that grief right back and I was better able to deal with things. It was a very healing thing for me.
When the mind is heavy with thought it is good to have a project that doesn’t require much decision, one that you can just work on as needed. I think this is probably a good project for you now.
My knitting projects are frequently lots of tiny, tight stitches on little needles. The ladies in my knitting group often pick up my projects and examine them with disbelief, that I who am generally so loosey goosey produce these items. They joke that any uptightness I have find its way out in my knitting. That which drives others mad keeps some of us sane.
The “tedium” and repetition of our art, and practicing of our craft become our still point when the universe spins out of control….
I think that we (mostly females) tend to sell ourselves short much of the time. We don’t believe, for one reason or another, that we could create something so finely detailed, or endure some hardship, or commit to something for so long, or whatever it is that others are doing when we comment “I could never do that,” or “how do you not loose your mind?” And yet, when it comes down to actually doing that thing that we must do because there’s no other choice, or because we are passionate about it — we CAN do it, and often excel at it! I think people who make comments like the one you got just haven’t yet realized how capable they themselves really are. :-)
Because I am not you … this is one of the projects that makes you so special! As are my projects … that are not yours … I admire all forms of creativity! I’m loving watching your progress and process! And I love the thoughtful conversation in the comments too!
Questions like that are usually meant in awe, I know. But considering all you’ve had going on lately it is also unreasonable.