How about a “recipe” today?
1. Acquire big pile of yummy scraps as a gift from a de-stashing friend.
3. Write a tutorial on making crazy quilt squares. Make 45 of them.
4. Agonize for a week about how to use those crazy squares. Do you make something super-duper scrappy and insane–as is your instinct? Or do you make something more tame?
4.5. No, really. Agonize some more. Sketch a few designs. Work out the math for each. Then reject each idea due to complex engineering issues. You’re willing to take stupid risks, but are other quilters feeling as intrepid? What will they think?
5. Settle on a simple and elegant design that unexpectedly requires great presence of mind. Jeni’s Plus Quilt Tutorial will get you started and guide you well.
5.25. Pull a rainbow of wacky scraps and forgotten FQs to use like this purple gem. It says: “Two people ate a cake of the full. I spent very happy time.”
5.75. Wonder where the cake is. Did the pearl-wearing bear eat the other person? Or is the cake inside the windmill? Where is the cake? We were promised cake!
6. Piece the top in one afternoon and then die from a terrible case of The Blahs when you see it all together. What a mess! The craziness just blends in with the prints and looks like a pool of fabric barf there in the middle.
7. Step away from the rotary cutter. Drink an adult beverage. And then tweet sad sack tweets, lamenting the death of your mojo. Sleep it off.
8. Your morning coffee catalyzes a few ideas for salvaging all that work. Here are two.
Option 1: slice and dice entire quilt top. Then re-piece into giant crazy quilt of shame.
Option 2: fence in the crazy blocks to demarcate the region of scrappy happiness and then hope for the best.
9. Prefer Option 1 with a burning passion, but go with Option 2.
10. Offer ONE MILLION COOKIES to anyone who will baste the quilt sandwich for you. (No one will take you up on the offer.)
11. Baste quilt. And then for the next week whine about quilting the thing because it all seems like a lost cause.
12. Grow up, quilt it, and then…
"Pattern": mash-up of a tutorial on making crazy quilt squares and Jeni’s Plus Quilt Tutorial
Materials: scraps and fat quarters, old phone book pages, wide cotton print for backing, franken-binding
Techniques: machined pieced; machine quilted; and hand-bound
Finished size: 58" square
Started: January 4, 2012
Finished: January 16, 2012