Despite the usual career trajectory of someone with my RealJob, I have held many many jobs before and I think they helped shape me in both positive and twisted ways. Several were paper-pushing jobs in cubicles, sharing open office space with lots of people at once. Being in such close quarters for 8 hours a day can be…shall we say, an adventure? When low on the food chain, we don’t get to choose our co-workers but I always enjoyed getting to know my comrades.


There are all sorts of characters on the job. You know the types. The one who always pitches in cheerfully when you get slammed with a ton of work on a tight deadline. The one you’d give everything to help her succeed. The one who whines loudly on the phone with her boyfriend all day. The one who picks his nose and…eww, nohedidnotjustdothat. The one who eats stinky food in his cubicle–both repulsing you and making you want pounce and eat every bit. The one who steals your stapler.

And there is The One Who Toots.


Sometimes you only know he’s there by the syncopated rhythm of his toot song while other times it’s the lingering aroma of the toots that offends. Now, I think we can all agree, we’d prefer to hear a toot of warning to allow us to avoid the stink bomb to follow, when possible.


This one’s for my buddy, Erin, who must face the Cube Tooter every day.

you know the one.

And this goes out to all my fellow office drones–past, present, and future. Have a great week!