Hello friends,
It’s been a doozy of a year. “Unprecedented” and “pivot” are now my least favorite words, but I have re-embraced “hope.” Hope and change.
[This is the only patchwork I’ve managed in a year, but all I can think about is getting back to the grind. Lots of ideas and so little time!]
We’ve endured a year of the weird now, huh?
Think back. How did you know things were about to get real? I’d been eyeing this thing from the beginning, reading everything in the news and asking all my friends who travel abroad regularly. Friends who’d been home for the holidays in China really diminished it all and told me it was dumb to worry. But as the virus moved into Europe and felled the unprepared, it started to sound like we needed to make plans. And so I did, in the small ways that a single person can prepare oneself for something of global impact.
As a transplanted Floridian, I has some sense of what to do. So in early March, I stocked up as if for a hurricane–and the 2-week recovery that usually follows: full pantry, household goods, etc. The grocery store was quite normal; lock-down was still a couple weeks away. I’ll forever be glad that I’d thought ahead.
My jobby-job was top of mind also, but it didn’t occur to me that our campus would shut down for the next nine months and that classes would all be online until we opened again just 3 weeks ago. But I had strategized about a few important things like hiring from a national pool when travel seemed to be the root of the problem. And then later, morale and safety were my deepest concerns. We have succeeded despite the obstacles and seem to be coming through it strong enough to manage the austerity of the long-term recovery.
In early March 2020 I’d stuffed balloons in a friend’s office to celebrate his 50th birthday. Ten months later I turned 50 myself in solitude that was both extraordinarily blissful and deeply painful. Coming shortly after the insurrection, I had little energy for much else and so I didn’t tell anyone it was my birthday. Apart from calls and texts from aunts and cousins, it was just another day, although in my heart it was not. When the world opens again, it should be just a constant birthday party for a long, long time to make up for all this. Every day is an excuse for CAKE now.
Of course, there was loss here. In particular, my doctoral advisor–my mathematical father, and a second father at that–passed away in the summer. The grief keeps circling back for another round-house kick in the teeth. It won’t quite feel real for a long time.
I still work at the table in my kitchen all day, broadcasting mathematics and policy and stuff to the world next to my toaster oven, while staring at the squirrels in the back yard. [Well, right now the back yard is an icy mess.]
Late at night I catch up on uploads and organization and emails with two laptops in bed.
I doze off like this. And then I wake up to lather, rinse,…repeat.
Someday things will be better. Someday soon.
xo,
c
completely cauchy. 
Thank you, Ms. Kimber, for sharing so personally with us. I always like to see what you’ve been up to quilt-wise and life-wise. Blessings in these new days.
So good to see you again, that you have made it through this challenging and deeply affecting space in time as well as you have. All good wishes. jdu
I too am weary from working from home and doing all online “visiting” . I am grateful to be able to work from home for the most part , but I long for gathering with family and friends in person.
Happy Birthday. I get it. Many years ago on my 50th, I had recently separated from my husband and none of my kids would speak to me. So Happy Birthday, meant with much sincerity. You deserve it!
The fucking insurrection was on my son’s birthday…I get how you feel. I do believe things are getting better!
I like cake every day!
With you entirely on cake every day. Unless it’s a pie day. :-) Sending you good vibes, from one distanced household to another.
Warmest condolences. It has been a year like no other, and possibly not the worst we will ever endure. Courage to all!
Great to watch you at Quiltcon!!!
Thank you for the share- so important for all of us to speak about the impact of the enormous losses/coping in the past year
“The grief keeps circling back for another round-house kick in the teeth.” As someone who has suffered unexpected losses in the past year, I thank you for the truthfulness of that statement. May we all come out on the other side,
I’m glad you had enough of a shell tingle to get prepared earlier than most. It’s been utterly weird, and I like your vision of a year long birthday with lots of whatever your heart desires: cake, cookies, perfectly aged candy canes… ;)
So happy to see you! I’ve missed you – your work, your wit, your insight – all of it!
Congrats on your win at QuiltCon 2021 with “Still Not”. Virtual hugs and hang in there. Vaccinations are rolling out. Condolences on your second father and may your great memories of him carry you through.
Bless you and happy birthday. Thank you for hanging in there and for popping in here. You matter. This will get better. Condolences on your loss.
Thank you for this posting.
An extraordinary year.
Stunning. As in ‘I am stunned’.
I deeply appreciate your quilt/math/life/ sharing.
My condolences to you on the passing or your colleague/professor/mentor.
Thank you for sharing. Two of my nieces had Zoom college graduations. My granddaughter may have one this May. I think a lot about possible shapes of the post COVID world. I am looking forward to seeing what you sew when this is over. Happy Birthday always.
I hope you decide to celebrate your “half-birthday” to make up for the real one. You deserve mass quantities of cake. And I hope some hugs from loved ones soon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ALL THE CAKE! And condolences. What a year. I too stocked up early and have been over the word ‘pivot’ since about a week into everything shutting down. Maybe not even that long. Onwards and upwards. Very excited it’s March and spring will be here soonish.